HOW TO SAFELY ESCAPE
A safety plan is a personalized, practical plan that includes ways to remain safe while in a relationship, planning to leave, or after you leave.
Safety planning involves how to cope with emotions, tell friends and family about the abuse, take legal action and more.
A good safety plan will have all of the vital information you need and be tailored to your unique situation, and will help walk you through different scenarios.
Although some of the things that you outline in your safety plan may seem obvious, it’s important to remember that in moments of crisis your brain doesn’t function the same way as when you are calm.
When adrenaline is pumping through your veins it can be hard to think clearly or make logical decisions about your safety. Having a safety plan laid out in advance can help you to protect yourself in those stressful moments.
EVIDENCE
SAFETY WHILE LIVING WITH AN ABUSIVE PARTNER
Identify your partner’s use and level of force so that you can assess the risk of physical danger to you and your children before it occurs.
Identify safe areas of the house where there are no weapons and there are ways to escape.
If arguments occur, try to move to those areas.
Don’t run to where the children are, as your partner may hurt them as well.
If violence is unavoidable, make yourself a small target.
Dive into a corner and curl up into a ball with your face protected and arms around each side of your head, fingers entwined.
If possible, have a phone accessible at all times and know what numbers to call for help.
Know where the nearest public phone is located.
Know the phone number to your local shelter.
If your life is in danger, call the police.
Teach your children how to get help.
Instruct them not to get involved in the violence between you and your partner.
Plan a code word to signal to them that they should get help or leave the house.
Tell your children that violence is never right, even when someone they love is being violent. Tell them that neither you, nor they, are at fault or are the cause of the violence, and that when anyone is being violent, it is important to stay safe.
Practice how to get out safely. Practice with your children. Plan for what you will do if your children tells your partner of your plan or if your partner otherwise finds out about your plan.
Keep weapons like guns and knives locked away and as inaccessible as possible.
Make a habit of backing the car into the driveway and keeping it fueled.
Keep the driver’s door unlocked and others locked — for a quick escape.
Try not to wear scarves or long jewelry that could be used to strangle you.
Create several plausible reasons for leaving the house at different times of the day or night.
Make a plan for how you are going to leave, including where you're going to go, and how to cover your tracks.
Make one plan for if you have time to prepare to leave the home.
Make another plan for if you have to leave the home in a hurry.
LEGAL
LEAVING WITH CHILDREN THAT ARE BIOLOGICAL TO THE ABUSER
If you are considering leaving without your children, please talk to a lawyer who specializes in custody before doing this.
Leaving your children with an abuser may negatively affect your chances of getting custody of them in court later on.
ALWAYS, ALWAYS CALL 911, IF IN DANGER
THEY CAN GET THERE QUICKLY AND HELP YOU SORT THINGS OUT SAFELY AND MAKE SURE THAT IF YOU ARE THE ONE LEAVING, THAT YOU GET ALL OF YOUR BELONGINGS AND GET OUT SAFELY OR MAKE SURE THAT THE ABUSER GETS ONLY THEIR BELONGINGS AND LEAVES PEACEFULLY - OR THEY CAN GO TO JAIL!
DO NOT EVER THINK YOU CAN JUST TALK IT OUT WITH THE ABUSER.
IF THEY THINK THAT THERE IS NOTHING TO LOSE, THEN THEY COULD POSSIBLY DO ANYTHING, YOUR SAFETY AND THE SAFETY OF YOUR CHILDREN COME FIRST!
IF YOU DONT HAVE A PHONE OR IF IT IS DESTROYED OR TAKEN FROM YOU, THEN LEAVE AND RUN TO A NEIGHBORS HOUSE AND CALL 911 OR HAVE THEM CALL 911.
GET AWAY!!!!!